Toastervision Staff Plays TF2: And You Can Too!

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Hey, all!

We’re throwing down on some Team Fortress 2 tonight, on our very own Toastervision server. If you’re interested in showing up (and why wouldn’t you be?), the details are below:

Server IP: 68.232.166.74:27015

Server Password: toasty

Hope to see you all there!

Steam for Mobile Platforms!

iSteam for Android

Steam has just been put out in Beta for anyone and everyone who has a Cult of Mac or Googler mobile device. In order to “express interest” in the beta, all you have to do is download and sign in! According to Valve, the fancy new Steam Mobile will: “be the easiest way to keep up with your Steam friends while on the go, you can take your Steam chats away from your computer with Steam for iOS and Android, browse the extensive Steam library of Windows and Mac titles from your phone and find out about Steam sales wherever you are.” Hit up the link here for direction to the app, or just search “Steam” in the App Store.

Thank Blanka! Now people can see me playing Dangerous High School Girls in Trouble! and laugh at me wherever they are!

Sent from my iPhone.

Armored Core V Multi-player Preview

Doing it Right

I’ll say it right now, I love Armored Core. The first one I ever played was on the original playstation and had the most terrible controls this world has ever known. The game was unresponsive to the mad mashing of the controller and although frustrated I-just-kept-playing. That says a lot about the fun factor of a game, and this multi preview from the devs makes me even more excited. Although it’s never graced my favorite platform, I will still ask Namco Bandai and Sega: “Y U No Love PC?”. Hit the jump for the video. [Read more...]

Your Shape: Fitness Evolved gets new DLC. Yep.

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It’s a slow news day, folks. If one of the many New Year’s Resolutions you made in a bleary-eyed and intoxicated state was to “lose some weight, maaan” and you decided to pick up Ubisoft’s Your Shape: Fitness Evolved, you might be interested in the rather hum-drum bit of announcement I got earlier today.

Ubisoft has just released a second pack of DLC “regimens”, to be acquired for the extortionary price of 560 Microsoft Points for a bundle, or by picking up both the slightly less extortionary 400-point “Back in Shape: Keep It Off!” workout and the 300-point “Cool Down Package”. For those of you wanting to know more about these exercise microtransactions, and why on EARTH they would cost hundreds of Microsoft Waffledollas, I have a few things that could be said about them.

The “Back in Shape” workout consists of a month of “weight control training workouts”, with each week having four workouts that will try to keep you from looking like the normal stereotype of a gamer. Expect a balance of 80% cardio and 20% toning. On the other side of things, the “‘Cool Down Package” is designed to do just that.  It ships with two 5-minute cool down activities that focus on relaxation through lots of stretching. So…yeah. There’s also four achievements in total that can be earned through these two packages.

I think I have said more than I have ever wanted to say about a fitness Kinect title now. We have some screenshots beyond the cut, along with box art for digital DLC. Yeah, it’s a slow day.

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A Declaration against the ESA, E3 and SOPA/PIPA

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Today is a very big day for users of the Internet everywhere. Across the wide network of tubes that makes up this confusing frontier, sites are shutting themselves down, blacking out and rising together in protest of the Stop Online Piracy Act and the Protect IP Act – two US bills, one for the Senate and one for Congress, that threaten to undermine the very fabric of what makes our web so great and facilitating towards human creativity.

I enjoy a near-gratuitous amount of freedom as the founder and owner of this website. I am free to make whatever stupid comments I want, crudely Photoshop together a picture of a 3DS printing money, or boldly declare that all publishers are whillywhipplesnappers, which is a word I just made up. If SOPA or PIPA pass, I would be held liable for the dumb things I say. My website, Toastervision as a whole, could be shut down because of a copyright claim on the picture of that 3DS, if Nintendo felt it was inflammatory. The site would be blocked, blocked from search engines and DNS look-ups – search engines bring in most of our traffic as it is, and that alone could spell an untimely demise for something that I thoroughly and entirely enjoy doing.

For the rest of the day, Toastervision will be joining in the Internet-wide blackout. We refuse to stand idly by while our government attempts to place lockdowns and destroy the livelihood of millions of people who rely on the Internet to do their jobs, interact with others, and make a living. If SOPA and PIPA pass, the wrong people will be punished while the entirety of the Internet will be both less safe and less reliable.

As a final notice, Toastervision has made the expressed decision to join in the boycott of the Electronic Entertainment Expo, run and organized by the Electronic Software Association (ESA). The ESA has lobbied in favor of SOPA/PIPA, contributing $190,000 towards PIPA lobbying. For an organization that claims to represent the gaming industry, a decision like this is inexcusable and does not reflect the opinions of “gamers” as a whole. Because of this, the Toastervision staff will not be attending E3 or covering the convention in any capacity. Until they revert their stance on these disappointing bills, our decision on this will remain firm.

In short: Fuck SOPA. Fuck PIPA. We will not be attending or covering E3 unless the ESA pulls their support from these bills. We believe in a free and unrestricted internet, and we hope you will too.

Sincerely,

Dylan Sabin
Editor-in-Chief

Paul, Vega, Balrog and more join Street Fighter x Tekken’s cast

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I’ll be honest: upcoming cross-over fighter Street Fighter x Tekken doesn’t really appeal to me all that much. I’m more interested in seeing what they’re planning on doing with the reversed version, Tekken x Street Fighter. That being said, I can’t complain about having a slew of new cast members announced for the 2D fighter due out this year.

Capcom announced a few hours ago that six characters, three from both halves of this sandwich of champions, will be making their way onto the cast list. From the Street Fighter series, Vega, Juri and Balrog will be making an appearance, while Paul, Law and Xiaoyu will be filling in on the Tekken team. Gonna be honest with you guys – I’m not that surprised. These characters are pretty well-recognized, especially on the Tekken side of things. It would be kind of silly to not include these characters, but at least now we know for certain that they’ll be here.

We have a huge batch of screenshots, along with character art for these newcomers, beyond the jump. If you’re not interested, you still have the wonderful header image to look at.

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Keep Calm, Carry On – Says THQ

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Remember when Kevin Dent said THQ cancelled all of their line-up for 2014? Well THQ says he’s wrong. The publisher responsible for Saints Row 3 put out this statement: [Read more...]

DLC: Assassin’s Creed gets Mediterranean map pack on Jan 24th

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Didn’t we just get a character DLC pack for the newest Assassin’s Creed title (which JD reviewed a few weeks ago)? Regardless, Ubisoft has decided that we need more downloadable content for the latest outing in Desmond Mile’s backstory. A few weeks from now – or more specifically, January 24th, we’ll be able to sink our teeth into three new multiplayer maps and three Brotherhood repeats. It’s being called the “Mediterranean Traveler Map Pack”, and it’s gonna be $9.99/800 Microsoft Hyperspace Waffledollars.
 
As far as which maps you’ll be playing on, Ubisoft was more than happy to let us know. Abstergo employees will be able to violently assassinate each other in “the majestic holy city of Jerusalem, the opulent imperial district of Constantinople and the colorful mercantile district of Dyers” as they make their multiplayer premieres. I’m loving the descriptive language. In addition to those three new maps, Revelations players will also be able to rack up kills in Firenze, San Donato, and Siena.
 
Six maps for $10, even if three of them are recycled from a previous title, isn’t a huge bank-breaker. I do wish companies would be more willing to offer the older maps for free as an incentive to keep players interested in their titles after the initial launch, but I don’t think that’ll ever happen with the crazy industry we work in. There are a few pictures of the different locations (Siena, ) after the cut, if you’re into that kinda stuff. They’re fairly action-packed.

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Saints Row the Third prepares itself for GENKIBOWL VII

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I woke up to quite a few e-mails in my inbox today, so that must meant there is some news to talk about, folks. Our first story today is a follow-up to the mysterious Steam achievements we saw pop up for our GotY nominee Saints Row the Third a few weeks ago, which have now been classified and illuminated to inform us all of the first mission pack for the sandbox apocalypse simulator. Genkibowl VII is the update’s title, focusing on what sounds like a special sports event organized by the one and only genius man-cat Professor Genki.
 
What does that mean for the player however, the invincible Boss of the Third Street Saints? From the sounds of things, we’ll be getting four new series of missions to play through: Sexy Kitten Yarngasm, Sad Panda Skyblazing, Apocolypse Genki, and Super Ethical PR Opportunity. We’ve got a couple pictures you can look at after the cut, and from what I can personally tell it looks like they’re quick snapshots of all the missions except for Super Ethical PR Opportunity.
 
Genkibowl VII begins on January 17th, downloadable through the PSN, XBLA and Steam. It’s also included for Season Pass owners, which is pretty nice. I’ll be checking this out when it launches next week and hopefully we’ll see just how I fare against the nefarious cat-man.

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Razer Unveils “Project Fiona” at CES… Gamers Sigh

Modern Deco Art... er... "Tablet"

Project Fiona was the main attraction of CES for me this year, and I waited eagerly to get some news about what I thought was going to be the Razer Switchblade. However, I was sadly mistaken. [Read more...]